Thursday, November 14, 2013

Thinking about Writing on a Foggy Early-Winter Morning


Cheers to Life on a Foggy Morning 

On this wonderful last day of the week, as I sit imbibing an esemplastic melody consisting of the metallic ectophony of a drill-machine, the infinite trismus of pigeon and squirrel chirrups, the occasional bellows of children and traffic noises, I cannot help but wonder about the prospect of winter. As the seasons change, the world sheds down its old gabardine and embraces the new, the latter, the youth, and the younger. And in between these changing seasons comes a time when we dance between two binaries, when the world still holding the seasonal variations of the last cycle injects in its vein the fluid of the new. It is that time of the year that interests me most. I sit here and observe the magic of that world before me. Abluted by warm-cool sunshine the conical and flat-tops of the buildings stare at me with sleepy eyes. The clump of red flowers at a distance seems to exude scarlet aura and my cold, soon-to-be evacuated balcony is littered with the dead and alive foliage. It’s beautifully calm here; the puzzles of life seem meaningless at this point. What matters are the words that cloud my head, little flowers they are too, short-lived. Every day I wake up and anticipate their arrival on my page, and when they finally come, I too like the changing season shed off all my inhibitions, worries and old tensions and plunge into their newness. From this momentary rendezvous with the new, I extract the fugacious joy that a writing life can offer. It is often difficult, nay impossible, to talk about writing, but on this morning the mind speaks only that lingo. After a hiatus of a few days the tongue is getting used to words and the morning is marvelous because of that. There is nothing more beautiful that letters forming words, than words forming sentences, and sentences forming paragraphs. The whole effect is somewhat like the unified misere of the world I hear consisting of a thousand disparate sounds striking as one synthesized hum. Today that hum in my head is the most beautiful melody I hear. The sigh of relief that escapes me as I see the words getting to know their neighbors is stupendous. It’s very easy to lose focus, to be swayed by advice that writing is a lame profession always dwelling in obscurity and uncertainty; nevertheless, the joy that a page of self-written sentences offer is greater than a monthly check of several thousand dollars.


I guess writing in many ways is indeed a lonely profession, as Hemingway said, because until you are walking away from the mediocrity of a society always ready to sway you from taking an unfortunate plunge into a future-less writing life, you don’t realize how much, just how much you love your avocation despite the contingency that our talents may not actually flourish in future. But, in spite of that, we will not let ourselves be dismayed and choose a different and more pedestrian profession. Maybe some of us are meant to struggle and produce fiction that matter to none, maybe we don’t care if poetry indeed declines with the advancement of civilization, maybe our contribution to the world are a few stray pieces that are lost as soon as they are produced; but still our figments of imagination are our world. They are the children of two extremes born in the womb of limbo that dwells between the expectations of the world and our personal ambition as writers. Having said that, I don’t think many of us would even care to dream about a glossy future full to the brim with bestsellers. I know I don’t. I live from fiction to fiction, from story to story, and still I consider myself one of the happiest persons I know. Shorn of high-flown ambitions, I care only about the page I write, and if it satisfies me, I know I will be happy for a long time thinking about that worthless page of written words. It is difficult to convince people who don’t live a creative life that the pleasure and pain of creativity is something indescribably appealing. It’s a fascination that attracts you more than a luscious lover; in fact it is a lover for life whose many facets we discover as we grow old with it.


This morning the sunshine seems so bright, the bright winter clothes crucified in my neighbor’s clothesline bathe in awesome hue, the flapping of a pigeon’s wing so much like the beat of a heart, and to think that on this busy weekday when people are heading for their cubicles, I get to enjoy them makes me feel blessed. I know this feeling of beatitude is momentary and that it will wane once I head into my house and partake of my other responsibilities of the day, but why not indulge in carpe diem when you can afford it. Right now, I think people become unhappy when they extricate themselves from their passion. And that is where negativity steps in to ruin lives. I know I am being hopelessly philosophical this morning, but my all-knowing mind is trying to convince me that there is no other life for me apart from writing, and a writer I shall strive to be come what may.


The writing work of the day being done, I have a delicious book to read now over a cup of warm coffee. The book in question is Hemingway’s treatise on writing, and I look forward to what the master has to say about his art. I always thought Hemingway was rather reticent when talking about writing was concerned; I wonder what advice he will give to an amateur hopelessly smitten with the scripturient life.  I hope to write another post next week where I shall discuss about this book and other thoughts that I occasionally get. I don’t know if anybody reads my musings, but if you do, I thank you for your silent encouragement and wish you too would pursue your passion and not give in to the demands of a mediocre life. We always have the choice to adopt mediocrity, but it’s better to avoid it, if you can help it.




         

Friday, October 18, 2013

New Publication: New Asian Writing, October 2013

Saturday, September 28, 2013

Recent Publications



        Dear Readers, here are the links to my latest publications. Do check them out and let me know what you think of them.






http://www.amazon.com/eFiction-India-Vol-01-Issue-12-ebook/dp/B00F09D9ZY







http://www.parabaas.com/translation/database/translations/stories/satyajit_gosaipur.html








Tuesday, August 20, 2013

In Search of Happiness with Walden for Company

         

A note of unruffled peace is borne on the wind from over the rippling waters of the pond of imagination.


A spot of philosophy is something that rarely appeals to our taste buds seasoned by eclectic worldly incidents and fast-paced virtual life. The events of the home and the world that surround us from dawn to the death of night are like the shrill noise made by a loud calling bell that extracts you out of a happy reverie in a reclusive pad. You listen to its sudden, sharp sound and sigh; then you open the door allowing the world with its often frivolous worries to come in.

Ageing under the weight of such worldly worries, I found myself sadly sipping the potion of despondence like many others that surround me. It was this pedestrian life and its normalcy, its mediocrity, and the fact that I was not doing, or rather not living, a life different that my counterparts that led me thinking. Was I happy, I wondered, living a life based on the strictures pronounced by the world and followed by its law-abiding citizens who, even if they wish, can seldom take a break? The idea of twinkling stars dying in the dark bedspread stretched taut abaft me came to my mind. I realized I would never want to be a star whose aspirations were extinguished because she jettisoned her own terms of life for the sake of others she knew. I realized that compromise is a drug more potent that Christie’s Strychnine.
Having finished my studies recently, I decided it was time to take a break for a few months and enjoy myself. I now had time at hand to do as I choose and this freedom, this sense of relishing leisure itself was a source of happiness to me. The thought that I could spend my days reading books I love, cooking, gardening or decorating my home made me beam. Nevertheless, I thought, in order to make these few months an experience to remember I should strive and shed off negativity for good and embrace happiness deliberately.

My idea of finding happiness as I had seldom felt before led me to browse the internet. My fingers tapped on the happy letters into the search box of the all-knowing web-encyclopedia and discovered that there are now manuals and personal stories about finding happiness. You punch in the word and the web provides you a list of codes which if followed will inevitably, or so some of the search results showed, lead you the ambrosia called happiness. As I found myself reading more and more of these manuals and self-stories about being happy, I felt powerless. I knew they would not do for me.

While I was switching off my computer smiling as I recalled some of the outrageous happy-codes I discovered  online in link with happiness and its nurture I sickness and in health, I stumbled on a little image done in yellow an indigo-blue that said “make happiness a habit.” It was something to think about and I dedicated my brain to the task.

Habits, as we know, are acquired sometimes advertently, but most of the time inadvertently. I remember an article I read in Reader’s Digest sometime ago which said that if you perform a task for three consecutive days; it will become part of our habitual activities. My task was to find peace and happiness, and I was more than keen to make happiness a habit. In my quest I turned to the one source I knew would never fail me: Walden, the book by the proponent of Transcendentalism, Henry David Thoreau.  I had read Walden before, but my reading was detached. This time I was keen on imbibing the delicious philosophy, on tasting it and savoring it and storing its wellness in my system.
My first task prior to reading Walden was to limit my virtual time. I had observed it before that people present their imperfect life in such fascinating lime-light virtually that it makes you wonder if you are on a right footing. The deluge of unnecessary notifications, needless articles on popular culture and boring news are together a concoction that can unnerve anybody. We are becoming too social, and too much of anything, as we know, is not good. I wished to curb my glutinous appetite for virtual society and see the results. I wanted to check how I would feel being abstracted from the virtual world for a time being. My idea was to carve a Walden for me, a patch of verdant greenery whose velveteen smoothness would cover the imperfections of my life.
For seven days around ten in the morning after my husband went out I would take my yoga mat out into the porch and a glass of juice and sit and read Thoreau’s book. The pretty periwinkles performed their soothing terpsichorean feat under the music of the zephyr. They entertained me in between my readings. The pigeons I feed know me and would make their customary guttural noise whenever they saw me. I was entertained by the rain as well, their pattering noise together with the bedraggled vista accentuated by the myriad other noises of a city life came as a symphony I learned to love. It is beautiful at times to be alone. People fear loneliness because of boredom and other contingencies initiated by self-company; but I have never felt that way, at least nowadays I don’t.

There is a chapter titled Solitude in Walden that I best loved. Here Thoreau seemed to answer my own queries about human company. He says that nature, if given a chance, can be a more soothing companion than any mortal friend. And sitting on my porch day after day under the shadow of my little plant breathing the smell of the earth I couldn’t but agree. My switched-off cell phone beside me didn’t ring and that fact alone made me calm and peaceful. The idea that my present state of peace was not dependent on anybody, that I would not be extracted from the seat of self-induced solitude by a ring of any bell made me happy.

I finished Walden in a week and found myself strangely attracted to positivity. Negative thoughts of failing at things, of competing for unachieved goals seemed trivial. I was refreshed by my read. Often I spend my after-reading hours writing about my diurnal activity, and now as I check those daily entries I discover how they lack remorse or off-putting contemplation. They talk about Thoreau’s little hut and life how it must have been alone in the forest in the company of nature. There were storms and long wintry days under the blanket of snow, but Thoreau didn’t let them usher him back to town. His rendezvous with nature was exhilarating; he enjoyed the diurnal and seasonal variations and let himself imbibe that essential truth that nature plates before us: in it is God, in it is love, and in it is happiness.
 Delve in nature and seek your God was what Walden said to me. Of course, I couldn’t jettison my family life and head for the hills, but that didn’t stop me from sitting on my little porch and savoring the sight of my little garden. I never knew their brilliantine green, I saw it now. I never judged the glorious red of the hibiscus, the delicate texture of a Chinese rose or the fresh smell of a basil leaf when rubbed between the palms. I felt them all now. The squirrel shooing a crow and a pigeon flying with its wings spread above me were sights I enjoyed for the first time in my life with relish. Unbeknownst to me with every passing day I was becoming more and more contented. The habit came naturally and in three days my heart yearned every morning for its customary sojourn in the porch.


It is often said that a book is a friend for life that changes your thought and moulds your character. I believe Walden has done the same for me. It is my un-mechanical manual to happiness that works right for me. Ultimately, it is nature, it aloneness, it is philosophy and a little time away from the touch of the world that made me happier and at peace with myself. That was the culmination of my experiment to find happiness. I inferred that happiness can indeed be made a habit, provided we know where to find it. 

Image from the internet

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Random thoughts on a balmy afternoon!

As I sit re-reading Virginia Woolf’s A Writer’s Diary on this particularly balmy end-summer afternoon, I feel a sense of unmistakable peace stealing over me. I sit on my patio admiring the queer shaped cloud-monsters staring at me blatantly and observing the pattern of the sap-green hibiscus leaves. It’s beautifully quiet save for the occasional chirrup of birds, the guttural noise squirrels make, the flapping of pigeon wings and the intermittent thudding sound wafted from the carpenters’ workshop next door. Having spent the whole day reading and writing away from the hinterland of social media and cellular phone, I feel a lambent radiance slowly illuminating the hitherto dark corners of my mind riddled with the soot of future worries. Indeed, I am now convinced that when you need answers it’s best to look inside. I don’t know how many of you are in love with solitude and occasional asocial life, but I know I am. I derived the greatest pleasure today when I directed my attention toward my avocation. Writing solves problems, I am sure it does. I know sometimes it is hard to string together the thoughts; sometimes the mind is so eerily quiet that you begin to doubt. Nevertheless, you must persevere; at least that is what Virginia Woolf did. She labored from one story to another turning a conscious eye toward her art and striving her best to perfect it through experimentation and constant reading. I have always found Woolf a darling writer. I love her, and so, I love her fiction. Her often snobbish, often prudish nerd-like philosophical stance is deliciously palatable to my taste-buds. I remember getting back to this diary of hers when I was stuck with a short story a few years ago. The reading did nothing to alleviate the stifling situation, but it sure made me more confident of myself. Woolf is my panacea; and this afternoon I feel I love her more than ever. The cloud-monsters keep changing position in the sky sometimes growing grim with sudden desperation and sometime allowing the sun to permeate through them with the vim and vigor of a teenager. I see them and wonder if Woolf too had stared like me at some cumulous populated once-azure sky and indulged in wordplay. I can imagine her frail form at her desk close in her study looking out with an admiring eye at the ever-changing visage of a day. Somehow the colors seem very bright to me today. The digladiation between contradictory thoughts is conspicuous by its absence. All is calm, all is quiet. I know sometimes I let myself go on and generally give in to lugubriousness or loquaciousness without reticence, but the process of penning rambling thoughts clarifies several of my life’s puzzles for me. At the touch of self-created philosophy and under the aegis of contemplation, my thoughts sort themselves out. I think it’s going to rain this evening; I will wait for it.